Winter Vacation With Snow
Key Insights
When you get some time to yourself, do what YOU want, and tune out judgments from others (or yourself)
Sometimes it takes time to get out of ‘do-mode’ and into ‘chill-mode’
On New Year’s Eve, I got even more me-time. I was going to pick up my son on January 1st and drive him up to the cabin for our second week of vacation. A full evening and morning to myself! I was invited to a neighbor’s New Year’s Eve festivities, but opted to write, watch a show, and go to bed early so that I could write more in the morning. I understand that not everyone would make this choice. I like time to myself. I like writing. I also like my friends and see them regularly. But I had had plenty of social festivities the entire week prior.
In the past, I would beat myself up over a decision like this and call myself boring. Those judgments don’t help anyone. It is actually very liberating to honestly answer the question of what makes you happy and what you find most important. No judging. Some people are happiest when they spend as much time as possible with family or friends. Others like to go fishing, work, read a book, binge watch a show. We don’t have to be the same. As long as the activity truly makes you happy, no need to hide it.
In my book, I have people do a similar exercise with all the roles they have in their lives. I ask them to weigh the importance of each role. Then I have them check whether the way they organize their lives aligns with those priorities. If you find family most important, do you have high-quality relationships with family? If you find work most important, do you feel good about your work? Again, no judging. It does not matter what your parents, colleagues, friends, or your eight million followers think of your life. You are the only one living it, so as long as you are on the same page with the people closest to you, organize it however it makes you happy.
So in this rare moment to myself, I worked on my book. I had just written up one of the final interviews - a success story of a partner at a consulting firm who juggles work and single parenthood - when it was time to pick up my son. I drove over to his dad’s house, where I met his dad’s girlfriend for the first time. She was lovely. For New Year’s Eve, she and her parents (visiting from out of town) had put together an evening full of homemade games for my son. He had managed to stay up until midnight. At least one person in our family had been social on the last day of the year.
With a mix of gratitude and relaxation, I kicked off the second week of my two-week vacation. Whereas I am usually dictated to by a toddler schedule, we now played it by ear and had a late lunch on the road. I stayed in this mode the rest of the week. We made do with the little snow we had and took more frequent hot chocolate breaks. We found little jumps on the side of the runs and entertained ourselves that way. On toddler days, I took my daughter on long walks, visited nana and poppa, and I read during her naps. Nothing had changed, really, except for my attitude. I had been forced into a slower pace of life. Forced out of planning, to-do lists, and ‘doing something useful’ mode.
Just when I was at peace with our new pace, we got a huge dump of snow. It was the last Saturday of our vacation, and it had gotten cold again. In addition to the new snow, the snow machines started pumping out snow again. We could finally ski without getting stuck on an icy mogul field. It seemed like everyone else had left, so there were barely any lineups. We skied and skied until there was nothing more to ski. And my son asked remorsefully, “Can we go back home now? I like it when we just chill on the couch before we have to do stuff”.
So we did. We chilled. I was still in chill mode on Monday morning when I opened my email, and a shitstorm of requests came my way. I dealt with them one by one. Because, what was the point in trying to run faster than you can?