Rat Race with Obstacles
Key Insights
The tasks that come with juggling work and kids can seem endless at times
To get through the day-to-day bustle, take mental snapshots of beautiful moments
I sometimes feel like I’m in some odd contest to get daily tasks done within a limited timeframe, with extra obstacles. Daily tasks can be as simple as taking a shower or making dinner. The timeframe is dictated by the start of school, a work meeting, or bedtime. The obstacles are generously provided by my kids. They involve a wide variety of things that surprise me every day.
My 1.5-year-old is most original and has come up with the following (and much more): Getting all the cans out of the recycling bin and sprinkling them over the kitchen, getting stuck between the armchair and the footrest (head down), turning off the knobs of the furnace while I’m cooking, spilling a bottle of olive oil on the floor, and lathering her entire face with my hand cream. When my 9-year-old is around, the obstacles usually involve chases of the 1.5-year-old that consistently result in one of them needing comforting after a crash or bump in, and reminding him to a) brush his teeth, b) put on socks, c) read his book, and d) bring his backpack with him. And when our 11-year-old is home, additional obstacles arise, mostly in the form of reassuring him that it will be okay if his sister touches something he technically owns.
Today, I was home alone with our little one. Dealing with one kid is a piece of cake. Except that my daughter is no piece of cake. My day started off with a breakfast refusal (I was physically unable to get her into her high chair) because she wanted to go outside so badly. We are currently going through a three-day Fall storm in Metro Vancouver, so going out wasn’t too appealing. She, of course, wanted her breakfast after our rain walk, when it was time to go to daycare. After that interesting start to the day, I got a ton of admin and other small tasks done in the morning, as well as a house cleanup and two loads of laundry.
In the afternoon, I drove to work to catch up with a colleague who just had a baby. I was still in what I call “checklist mode”, which usually is a leftover of “rat-race mode”. Rat-race mode happens with children around, checklist mode happens when they are gone, and I get stuff done. When she arrived with a tiny, lovely, one-month-old baby bundled on her chest, I got kicked out of checklist mode instantly. How special are these moments? We went for a walk and shared some baby experiences. It rained on and off but neither of us seemed to notice because it was just so nice to be outside in the forest, chat, and connect.
After this hour of oasis, I was harshly put back into rat-race mode. My ex had asked if my son could have dinner at our house this evening. He was at a playdate, and the mom of my son’s friend was so kind to drop him off at home around 5:15 pm. I navigated traffic while keeping track of time. I have been called eerily exact when it comes to estimating when I arrive home. I also usually beat Google. This afternoon, I estimated the drive would take 26 minutes (two fewer than Google said), that picking up the little one would take an additional 9 minutes, and I left at 4:36. At 5:11pm, I got back home. I had made it on time to start another rat race of dinner, bath time, and bedtime with two obstacles.
This time, though, the two obstacles entertained each other. The 9-year-old invented a game of throwing balls up the stairs, over the toddler gate, into the kitchen, which the little one then fetched and threw back to him through the fence. Prepping dinner was a breeze without my two obstacles. They also distracted each other during dinner. The little one made such silly faces that the big one forgot he didn’t like his spaghetti and finished his bowl. When the little one started throwing food, the big kid made faces to distract her. And then they even wanted to do bath time together, which meant that the little one was so fascinated by the water cascade built by the big kid that she forgot to throw buckets of water over the edge.
I can, of course, highlight different aspects of tonight. Because there was food throwing. There was also a big crash that floored my 1.5-year-old and required lots of soothing. There was a lot of protest when the little one did not get candy while the big kid did. And bedtime was technically 15 minutes too late. But the important part was that both my kids and I had lots of fun. They played together, giggled, and laughed. Once the big kid got picked up by his dad, the little one waved goodbye, and the big kid gave her a hug. That moment alone is worth all the bump-ins, dirty floors, and empty hand cream tubes.